I have demons in me.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
