First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
