We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have fence marks all over my body
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