Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
