Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The air was thick with penises
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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