Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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