soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
