get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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