Say something about gay babies.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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