She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
