How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
