Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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