forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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