My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
