so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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