Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
