She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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