the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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