after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
