M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
they need to just BURY HIM!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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