Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
