Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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