Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
