He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
