It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
