Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
