No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Still dying that you shit outside
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
