Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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