i don't like sucking hair
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
