his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
