just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
