Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
