HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
