Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
