let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
