she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
