Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
