So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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