She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
