i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
