i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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