oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
