True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
