I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It's Friday. Sex?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
