you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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