Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
