hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
