I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
