Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize