Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
